Well, all my books and pregnant friends have told me about how tired they were during the first trimester. All they wanted to do was sleep! They couldn’t get enough sleep! I never experienced that. I mean sure – I was sacked out on the couch for most of the day and night during the first trimester, but that was due to feeling like total shit and nothing to do with having any less energy than usual.
Two weeks ago, when my nausea somewhat lifted I felt like a new woman! Until this week. The sleepiness has finally come home to roost! I’ve been taking some crazy long naps whenever possible, and have even increased the amount of sleep I get at night from 9 hours to about 11 hours, but there is still a thirst for more sleep. It’s crazy awesome because the dreams … good Lord, the DREAMS have been so entertaining!
Last night, I had my first dream about the baby and it was so great! In the dream, it turned out we were having a boy! And oddly enough, as soon as we found out the gender, I went into labor. We hadn’t bought a single item for the baby, still hadn’t decided upon a name, and we weren’t even HOME when it happened! We were visiting family when the baby decided to be born. All I remember about the birth is that only the City Boy was present, and it was quick and DRUG FREE! It all happened so fast, and once the baby was born and we were holding him, I thought “Wow. That wasn’t so bad! Why was I doing all that stressing?” Next thing I know, they were shoo’ing us out of the hospital and on our way. When we arrived “home” (wherever that was) it was still just the 3 of us, and I suddenly realized that the baby hadn’t been fed the entire time he had been alive! What kind of mother was I? Definitely not off to the best start, I tried to breast feed him in a panic, only to realize I had no idea what I was really supposed to do. No one even talked to me about this at the hospital! What if he didn’t do it right? What if I didn’t do it right? Panic set in, but in the end all I had to do was pull down my bra and he latched right on like a pro. And, he was SO cute!
The next scene was taking place at a family Christmas party. Both of our families were present, but everyone’s personalities were more intense and severe. We were all excited, but on edge for some reason. I was nervous about letting anyone touch the baby, and it felt like I was constantly worried about feeding him. Then I worried about someone SEEING me feed him, and made a mental note to pick up a Nursing Apron.
The City Boy & I realized half way through the party that we still didn’t have any place for the baby to sleep. So, we hauled ass to some sort of baby supply warehouse and tried to locate a decent basinette … sure, we found some but they were all made of that hard plastic, outdoor playground material. The pressure was mounting as we drove from store to store trying desperately to find a suitable bedding surface for our little bundle of joy.
In the end, I think we just let him sleep in our bed until we went back home to Florida. Really, the most clear parts of the dream were stressing over whether he was getting enough food, chasing away people from touching him, and holding him. I woke up wishing I could fall back asleep and hold him some more. How ridiculous is it that I KNOW the baby in my dreams isn’t really the one that is with me now, but it was so amazing to SEE him, and HOLD him, and BOND with him.
Ugh, five more months of this anxiety! I wish I would have at least remembered what we named him!