You know those days when you wake up in a fog bubble and can’t seem to pop it? You stumble around all day, figuratively and physical; tripping on objects left on the floor, words you can’t quite assemble into a proper sentence; you try to smile, and maybe you are, but it still feels like you’re still frowning, not fooling anyone. That has been my year, unfortunately. Just mucking through every day … yuck! Not a way I want to be living my life, that’s for sure! Today is no exception … called in sick to work and here I sit. Stuck.
It feels like my life has lost its purpose. I need a job/daily activity that has some significance … that NEEDS my presence … that gives me some sort of excitement about waking up each day. Because, seriously. That is soooo lacking right now that most days I don’t even roll out of bed until after 8am and I don’t want to live like this. I want to jump out of the sack at 5 am ready to start another day!!
But I honestly feel like the only way that can be possible is if I have some meaningful responsibilities throughout that day. ugh! Oh well, it’ll work itself out I suppose.
So, the wedding was great two weeks ago! And to prove it, I have posted the very few pictures that I took while there. The ceremony went off without a hitch, our green dresses & gold shoes didn’t seem to clash at all which was a huge relief! The food was great, the beer in the limo was cold, and my Dad cried during his speech (he was the best man). Really got to me. The weather could have been a little warmer, but all of us girls in our sleeveless dresses and bare legs pulled through and managed to get through the outdoor photo shoot before the wedding. Also, something that I really like about how they set things up: (1) no bouquet toss or garter toss for the sake of time and (2) wedding cakes were dispersed on each table as a centerpiece so everyone could cut and serve their own piece. Saved time and staff members so people could get cake out of the way and get down to the business of “gettin’ down”.
My new sister-in-law’s parents spent a fortune on the wedding. So, as a result there were a host of long-lost relatives and old babysitters there that I hadn’t seen in probably a decade or more. Everyone was so happy to see me (and vice versa) and they all wanted to meet the City Boy (of course they did! He was the only Black person in attendance.) It felt like 75% of the reception I was introducing him and going through the nicities and small talk that is customary, although I was itching to get out on the dance floor.
At first, I was thinking “Well, it’s probably good we’re getting all of these introductions out of the way NOW versus at OUR wedding”. But then, after a few drinks and a little common sense I realized that I wouldn’t be able to invite HALF of these people to our wedding! So, while everyone was hugging and shaking our hands saying things like, “Congratlations! We can’t wait to see you again at your wedding”, I was thinking “FAT Chance, Sister!”
I don’t have the money to invite everyone we want to … not only that, but I want it to be a fairly intimate wedding. No hooplah or hullabaloo, no formal “putting on of the airs”. Just two people who love each other, making a commitment in front of people who love us and will hold us to that commitment when we feel like running the hell away from each other. Because, believe me – I know that day will come.
Anyway, it was truly a GREAT weekend, and I think my funk may have sunk lower since we got home because I’ve been feeling more “homesick” than usual. Some days I feel like I’m just waiting for the go ahead from the City Boy to pack up and move North. It’s the strangest thing EVER because I’ve lived away from home for 8 years and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced this. Missing my family? Psst. News to me! But it’s true.
To the happy couple: we love you and miss you and know that you will strive to make each other happy, laugh, and better. Hopefully simultaneously!