The World Has Turned & Left Me Here

The good news is that I’m alive.  The bad news, however, is that I’m dealing with some stuff right now.  Just run of the mill, depressing, bury my head in the sand kind of crap that is making communication difficult for me.  This includes verbal, written, email, or telephone, texting, twittering, smoke signals, all of it.  When I go through the agony of processing how to communicate the things going on inside my head, all my body can do is cry.  It’s getting kinda heavy over here in these parts.  I am feeling like the zombie I hoped I’d never be again.

I’m experiencing stress that I’ve never thought possible (and I’ve been in some pretty stressful situations.  Think: 1998 through 2008) and for the first time in my life I am seriously starting to doubt my ability to handle it.  I’ve always been confident in my adaptability capabilities, but now?  I just worry that it’s too much.  I won’t make it.  I don’t have what it takes.

So, I may be silent for just a few days, and it’s not because I’m fleeing or dead.  I just don’t want to write repetitive posts like this one any more than necessary.  I hope you understand. 

But, just as an update, I attended my brother’s wedding over the weekend, and it was beautiful.  It was great to see so many people who were a part of my life as a child – old baby sitters, neighbors, friends of my parents from high school, old teachers, third and fourth cousins, etc.  And the dancing?  It was great fun.  I will be posting pictures and a few quick stories from our visit hopefully this week – if I can bring myself to get it all down.

Have patience … I’ll be back.  I just need to knock the shit off that’s going on inside my brain first.


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