Cheese With That Whine? or Wine?

For some ridiculous reason I got the absurd notion last night to skip dinner and then SLAM down four glasses of wine (cheap wine, might I add) in about 39 minutes.  After a ferociously chatty conversation with my old friend Alisha, my father, and THEN my brother (NOTE: phone conversation marathons are a total anomaly for this girl) I sat, exhausted on the living room chair and instantly knew I was going to puke. 

I meandered (or stumbled) my way to the couch and fell face down on it seeking comfort from its micro-suede embrace, but the sudden jarring of my body onto the couch cushion did not bode well for the nausea.

“Are you okay, Honey?” I heard Mr. Wonderful inquire, but I was so sick … and the affects of the alcohol were causing him to sound like a slowed down voice recording.  I really just wanted him to shut up and let my brain catch up to my surroundings, but was too wasted to speak so I just gave him a weak wave. 

“I don’t feel well” I said as I stumbled to the stairs and slowly ascended to the bathroom.  The last thing I remember him saying was, “Uh-oh.  Are you going to get sick?”

Upon arrival to the bathroom I ran to the toilet, threw myself down on the floor and tried to vomit.  Nothing.  I was perplexed because I thought for sure the wine still available would come rushing to its exit point.  But, nothing.  I didn’t want to remain sitting on the bathroom floor for something that may never come, so I grabbed the overflowing bathroom trash can and set it next to my side of the bed.  Then … laid there. Waiting for a few minutes.  Pieter rushed to my side, because every dog knows that seeing their master flailing, stumbling, and talking funny is never a good thing.  He jumped on my bed and made his way to my shoulder, where he sat while I tried to pass out.

And I did finally succeed in the passing out.  For a minute.

I was suddenly awoken with the violent urge to purge the stomach.  But I was so comfortable sleeping that I barely reached for the overflowing trash can in time.  And because I was still asleep I was foolishly expecting the vomit to be thick and “stomach-content” like.  Instead it was like wine, deep red wine being sprayed from a garden hose … luckily I didn’t miss the overflowing trash can.  After taking a shower, I felt better and resumed the evening. 

After all it was only 8:53pm.  I don’t know what got into me?


 So the economy is slowly but successfully choking the life out of my usual optimistic nature.  Family members have recently had to bankrupt their business and are now out of work; Mr. Wonderful is struggling; I am struggling as a result of trying to rescue him; friends are facing their quickly approaching unemployment cut-off date with no job prospects in sight.  A good friend of mine has been living with her boyfriend because she’s unemployed and her house has been foreclosed, and she has recently (finally, if you ask me) decided that she can no longer remain in the relationship with the dude but has nowhere to go.  I just spent 2 hours on the phone with her, looking through Craigslist for a suitable 3-bedroom abode for herself and two young children, and building a budget to determine if she can even afford any of the available rentals. (I love budgets!  If anyone needs help with one, let me know.  Seriously.  I have a business dedicated to this very purpose.  It’s what I DO). 

Things are bad … this is the first time in my adult life that financial “bad times” have ever really hit home for me.  I am suddenly understanding, in a very real-life sort of way (in contrast to the academic or logical sense) how very close to homelessness so many people are.  How fragile our livelihood actually is.

Up until last year I was estranged from my family.  There were, issues, let’s say that they and I had with each other and it took my divorce to finally shake some sense into me.  Anyway, the point here is that those of us with families and/or amazing friends should really consider how incredibly lucky we are to have support.  In the event of something devastating like a job loss and inevitable foreclosure, I am so glad that I am not lost.  If something of this magnitude were to occur to me I could call my family.  And they would say, “come on home E” … and I would hitch-hike 1,000 miles to their door … and we would all starve together, in one location, because they really wouldn’t have the financial means to help me, but at least we’d have each other.  And hopefully we could all resist the urge to eat our dogs in a fit of insanity brought on my starvation (come on!  We’ve all got at least one big dog, and my sister has TWO!  One of hers would probably be the first to go.)

I just think about my friend, who finds herself in the situation where it looks like she may have to decide between homelessness and staying with a jerk-off boyfriend because she has nowhere else to turn.  This is what America has to go through right now.  It’s scary.

When a man with a bachelors degree in Economics and an MBA is forced to accept a part-time telemarketing position paying minimum wage, something needs to give.

I guess a “courtesy flush” is a little too much to ask for right now?


But, there is always some hope.  Nothing lasts forever, right?  Despite the absolute cloud of negativity surrounding my family right now (family business is defunct, struggles, my grandfather just survived a massive stroke but is left paralyzed & unable to speak or move, no one can afford anything, blah blah blah) my little sister is about to give birth to the first grandchild of my parents (Friday morning, to be exact).  My first nephew!  So, naturally we are excited about that … and my brother is getting married in mid-October … and Mr. Wonderful’s brother is getting married the week after my brother … and then me and Mr. Wonderful are getting married in exactly 297 days … and I’m just so glad that my family & I are healthy again!  Otherwise, I’d miss out of their life memories and vice versa.

Knowing that we are one big happy family again makes me believe that we can all get through it, and we will.  Because sooner rather than later, we’ll have our own little babies to keep moving on for, and so on and so on.

So … anybody want to donate to the “Help Us Have A Wedding Foundation”?


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